The Discovery Call That Left You Feeling Gross

You just hung up from a discovery call. The prospect clearly needed what you offer. You know you could help them. But when it came time to explain your services, something felt off. You started listing features of your program, talking about your process, maybe even name-dropping credentials. Their energy shifted. The call ended with “I’ll think about it.”

And you’re left wondering: Why does selling my coaching have to feel so transactional?

Here’s the truth: You’re not a salesperson. You’re a coach or consultant who happens to need clients. And the traditional “pitch and close” approach feels wrong because it IS wrong, at least for people like you. This post is inspired by our conversation with Jason Barnaby, fractional sales leader and storytelling expert, who reveals why understanding people and telling stories beats any sales script you’ll ever find. Watch the full conversation at 1898creative.com.

Why Most Coaches Struggle to Sell Their Own Services

Here’s what nobody tells you when you start a coaching or consulting business: the skills that make you great at your work are totally different from the skills you need to sell that work.

You’re relational. You’re empathetic. You genuinely care about transformation. And when you try to “sell,” it feels like you’re putting on a costume that doesn’t fit.

Jason explains it perfectly: “I don’t like to be sold to. I don’t like to feel like it is a transaction. I don’t like to feel like I am a pawn in a script.”

Neither do your prospects. And when YOU feel like you’re following a script, they feel it too.

What Your Prospects Actually Want

Research shows that even more than price or features, people want to belong, to be seen, and to know that working with you will actually make a difference in their lives. They’re not buying your 12-week program. They’re buying the transformation they believe you can help them achieve.

But here’s the problem: most coaches lead with the program details instead of the transformation. You talk about weekly calls, lifetime access to your portal, monthly group sessions, and your proprietary framework. Meanwhile, your prospect is sitting there thinking, “But will this actually solve my problem?”

The Two Things That Make Sales Feel Natural

Jason shares two frameworks that completely change how coaches and consultants approach sales conversations. Not tactics. Not scripts. Actual frameworks for understanding people and communicating value.

Framework 1: Understanding Personality Types with the Enneagram

Jason is obsessed with the Enneagram, a personality assessment that reveals core motivations, stress responses, and behavioral patterns. While tools like DISC and Myers-Briggs are helpful, Jason argues the Enneagram goes deeper.

“The Enneagram literally changed my life,” Jason says. “It gets to what your core motivators are.”

Here’s why this matters for you as a coach: When you understand your own personality type, you understand why certain sales approaches feel wrong to you. And when you understand your prospect’s personality type, you can communicate in a way that actually resonates with them.

For example, Jason is an Enneagram 7, the Enthusiast. He’s energetic, strategic, and naturally optimistic. But when he’s stressed, he shifts into Type 1 behavior, becoming controlling and perfectionistic. Knowing this about himself helps him recognize when he’s operating from stress versus his natural state.

Now think about your discovery calls. Some prospects want all the details upfront. Others need to feel the emotional connection first. Some need time to process. Others are ready to say yes immediately. Understanding personality types helps you meet people where they are instead of forcing everyone through the same sales process.

Framework 2: Storytelling Over Statistics

Jason’s other passion is storytelling. And this is where most coaches completely miss the mark.

“People don’t remember the words that you say, but they remember how you made them feel,” Jason explains. “And in a story, people can see themselves in that narrative.”

Think about the last time you explained your coaching to a prospect. Did you say something like this?

“I have a 12-week program with weekly one-on-one calls, access to my online portal, monthly group coaching sessions, and a proprietary framework I’ve developed over 10 years.”

Impressive, right? Maybe. But also completely forgettable.

Now imagine this instead:

“Let me tell you about a client I worked with last year. She was a consultant who was working 60-hour weeks, constantly saying yes to projects that drained her, and her family was starting to resent her business. Sound familiar at all? Here’s what happened when we started working together…”

See the difference? In the second version, your prospect starts seeing themselves in the story. They feel the pain point. They imagine the transformation. They become emotionally invested before you’ve even mentioned your program details.

The Hollywood Framework That Works in Coaching Sales

Jason points out that Hollywood has made billions using the same story structure in every movie:

Hero with a problem Meets a guide Gets a solution (sometimes after trying it their way first) Achieves transformation

Sound familiar? It’s the exact framework that works in coaching and consulting sales. Your client is the hero. You’re the guide. Their struggle is the problem. Your framework is the solution.

But here’s the critical piece most coaches miss: the transformation happens WITH them, not TO them.

Why “Superman Syndrome” Kills Sales

Jason calls it “Superman syndrome,” when you tear open your shirt to reveal the big S on your chest and announce, “I’m here to save the day!”

The problem? Nobody wants to be saved. They want to be included in their own transformation.

“When you come in like Superman, it happens to them, the client. It doesn’t happen with them,” Jason explains. “We want to be included. We want to be a part of that solution. We want to be excited about where we’ve gotten, and we want to feel like we had a hand in that.”

This is why feature-dumping fails. When you list all the amazing things in your program, you’re essentially saying, “I’m going to do all this FOR you.” But your prospect wants to feel capable. They want to feel like the hero of their own story.

Your job is to be the guide who helps them see the path forward.

The One Question That Changes Everything

Instead of launching into your program details, Jason recommends starting every discovery call with one powerful question:

“If I had a magic wand that I could wave today, what three problems would you want to solve that would make tomorrow easier?”

Then, and this is critical, shut your mouth and listen.

This single question does three things:

1. Reveals the real pain points, not just the surface-level ones
2. Uncovers emotional stakes beyond the practical problem
3. Shows you whether you’re even the right fit for them

The Three Levels of Problems

Jason breaks down why this question is so powerful. Most coaches stop at the practical problem:

Practical Problem: “I need to get more clients.” Emotional Problem: “I’m scared my business is going to fail and I’ll have to get a job again.” Existential Problem: “If this doesn’t work, what does that say about me? Can I actually do this?”

When you only address the practical problem, you’re competing on features and price. When you address all three levels, you’re solving what actually keeps them up at night.

How to Use This in Your Sales Conversations

Ready to transform how you sell your coaching or consulting? Here’s how to apply these frameworks:

1. Understand Your Own Enneagram Type

Take the Enneagram assessment and study your type. Understand your core motivations, your stress patterns, and how you naturally show up in sales conversations. This self-awareness will help you recognize when you’re operating from your authentic self versus when you’re forcing a sales approach that doesn’t fit you.

2. Create a Bank of Client Stories

Think of 3-5 clients who’ve had significant transformations. For each one, write down: What was their practical, emotional, and existential problem? What was the turning point in their journey? What specific result did they achieve?

Keep these stories ready to share on discovery calls when you hear similar pain points.

3. Lead with the Magic Wand Question

Start every discovery call with curiosity, not presentation. Ask the Magic Wand Question, then listen for all three levels of problems. Take notes. Ask follow-up questions. Create space for them to share what’s really going on.

4. Share a Relevant Story

Once you understand their situation, share a client story that mirrors their experience. Help them see themselves in the narrative. Then ask, “Does that resonate with you? Is that similar to what you’re experiencing?”

5. Invite Them Into the Solution

Don’t say: “Here’s what my program will do for you.”

Instead say: “Here’s what we did together with that client. Do you think that’s something we could partner on?”

Notice the shift? You’re not the hero swooping in. You’re the guide inviting them to be part of their own transformation.

The Counterintuitive Move That Builds Your Reputation

Here’s where Jason drops the most counterintuitive sales advice:

Sometimes the best sale is the one you don’t make.

After asking great questions and truly listening, you might realize your coaching isn’t the right fit for this person right now. Maybe they need a different approach. Maybe they need to solve a different problem first. Maybe someone else would serve them better.

And when that happens, tell them.

Jason’s exact approach: “You know what, after we’ve had these conversations, I don’t really think that we’re a good fit. But I think you’re a really good fit for this person I know. And I’m going to connect you to them. Because I really think that what they offer is going to be the best solution for you.”

What happens next? You’ve just won a client for life, even though they’re not working with you right now.

They’ll remember that integrity forever. Because we’ve all been sold things we don’t need. But when’s the last time someone said, “I don’t think you need what I’m selling”?

That moment creates referrals, testimonials, and clients who come back later when they DO need you.

The Secret Ingredient: Genuine Curiosity

At the heart of all of this is one skill that Jason believes separates struggling coaches from thriving ones: genuine curiosity.

“If you are truly genuinely curious, you have the best interests of the person that you’re talking to in mind the entire time. And that’s what’s driving the questions. The questions aren’t driving to your particular solution.”

When you’re genuinely curious, you’re asking: Are we a fit? Is this going to work? Would they be better off somewhere else? Why are they really saying this? What do they actually need right now?

These aren’t script questions. They’re exploration questions. And they lead to better outcomes for everyone.

How Your Content Plays Into This

Here’s where this all connects to the content you’re creating. Every piece of content you put out, whether it’s a podcast episode, a YouTube video, a LinkedIn post, or an email, is an opportunity to tell stories and demonstrate genuine curiosity.

When you share client transformation stories in your content, you’re doing two things:

1. Helping prospects see themselves in the narrative before they ever talk to you
2. Building trust by showing you understand their struggle

When you create content that asks great questions and explores real problems, you’re demonstrating the same curiosity you’ll bring to a coaching relationship.

Your content IS your sales process. It’s coaching people before they ever become clients. And the more you can bring storytelling and genuine curiosity into that content, the easier your actual sales conversations become.

Because by the time someone books a call with you, they’ve already seen themselves in your stories. They already trust that you understand them. The discovery call becomes less about convincing them and more about confirming fit.

Common Mistakes Coaches Make in Sales

Even with the best intentions, coaches stumble in these areas:

Mistake 1: Making Yourself the Hero

Your client is the hero of every story. You’re the guide. If your stories center on how amazing you are, you’ve missed the point.

Mistake 2: Leading with Features Before Understanding Problems

You can’t prescribe before you diagnose. Ask the Magic Wand Question before you talk about your program.

Mistake 3: Forcing a Sales Process That Doesn’t Fit Your Personality

If high-pressure closes make you uncomfortable, don’t do them. Build a sales approach that feels authentic to who you are.

Mistake 4: Ignoring Your Gut When Someone’s Not a Fit

If your intuition says they’re not right for you, trust it. Referring them out builds more trust than forcing a sale ever will.

Final Thoughts

Selling your coaching or consulting doesn’t have to feel awkward, pushy, or inauthentic. When you understand your own personality, lead with curiosity, tell stories that help people see themselves in the transformation, and have the courage to refer out bad fits, sales becomes an act of service.

As Jason puts it: “Let’s tell good stories. Let’s help people. Let’s diagnose problems and solve problems. That’s really what it is. And that is beautiful. And that’s not a sleazy way of selling at all.”

Your story is your best sales tool. Not your credentials. Not your 12-week framework. Your genuine curiosity, your client transformations, and your willingness to put their needs first.

That’s what creates clients for life. And that’s what makes content that actually grows your business.

Want to see this framework in action? Watch the full conversation with Jason Barnaby at 1898creative.com or connect with him on LinkedIn at jason@firestarterstribe.com.